Monday, 16 June 2008
I woke up today feeling different.
I felt odd and strangely light-headed.
And then I realised it. I was over her.
I had spent the whole holidays feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity.
I was angry with myself for letting her go, infuriated by the fact that she was able to cope with breaking up so fast and jealous that she was with other guys.
I have told myself countless times that the only thing to do was to move on. Yet I kept on coming up with stupid, utterly ridiculous plans to get her back, and tried at many occassions.
When I was met with rejection at every turn, I hatched a plan to cut contact and get my life in order so that I would look like a winner when we met again.
It turned out this stupid plan saved me.
After countless nights of beating myself up inside, I started to pull myself together.
I got a haircut.
Dyed my hair.
Got contact lenses.
I went out with friends, my brothers who I have alienated all this while.
I met up with my (god) sis and chatted inanely.
I resumed up Taekwando.
I swam and ran actively.
I read a book.
I survived.

Contarary to what people may think, I do not hate her.
Rather, I would like to share with you all a phrase that stuck in my mind:

We all have this idea that love is supposed to last forever.
But love isn't like that. It's a free flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases.
So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad that you had the opportunity to experience it.