Enlisting tomorrow
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Before enlisting, and surrendering yourself to the mercy of the SAF, with the anticipation of army looming just over the horizon, I have had much time to myself, contemplating my life so far.
This seems as significant an event as it will ever be.
Come 8am tomorrow, I will be at Pasir Ris Camp(commando) begining the next phase of my life. For every Singaporean son, must serve his term till he's done.
But you can't move forward without looking behind.
2008 was not a good year for me.
My regrets for 2008
- Not paying enough attention to my studies. Arrogant me wasted the whole damm year away and didn't even prepare properly for Prelim. Got like E E S S for prelim which is an utterly pathetic grade. Although I rushed and crammed like hell for A's, I'm not sure if its enough. I am terrified.
- Faltering during Hockey. There were many times where I severely underperformed. Such as against RJC, when I could have scored that open goal. If I had fought harder, ran faster, shown more aggression...
- Two years ago today, I met this girl who would later mean the world to me. But I didn't treat her well enough. I'll carry that scar for a long time. And shed many a tear.
- Being too stubborn and rigid during the later half of the year. When strong personalities collide, invariably things go south. You were my motivation during the A's and I thought that we could finally be together when it was over. I'm sorry.
- Not being able to protect my little sister when people in her school bullied her. I should have gone there and beaten them up straight.
Never again.
I know you read my blog.
You're the one I'll miss the most.
Theres so much I wanted to say.
So much.
I hope I see you during CNY.
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's lefts good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
@ 16:53
Clement Yap
